that they are worth mentioning and maybe exploring. I wonder how much
of these are followed by couples in our society and do they find them
relevant and applicable?
Since I am still single; I will comment about each one from my own
perspective and state what I think about it; by that; I am not
dictating or promoting anything, I am just thinking in the form of
writing.
The list goes as follows; if you become bored while going through
them, stop and come back later because I found them very interesting
and I am hoping you will do too:
1. Start each day with a kiss ~ I think this one is not that hard; on
the contrary; it can be healthy and nice.
2. Wear your wedding ring at all times ~ most couples do wear the
ring, however; their reasons might vary, so as long as they think of
it as a sign of their commitment to their spouses, then they are on
the safe side.
3. Date once a week ~ I believe this one is very healthy; maybe not as
often as once a week, let's say every other week or that a date can be
inside your home and that you don't have to go somewhere fancy to have
it, you get the idea, right?
4. Accept differences ~ No one is perfect. However; healthy arguments
are good for the relationship, hence; the most important thing would
be learning how to compromise with one another.
5. Be polite ~ Please, thank you, you are welcome… these are not only
meant for strangers; your own spouse and family should come first and
you must always use these phrases inside your home.
6. Be gentle ~ a person is supposed to be the closest to his/her
spouse, being gentle is crucial to keep them close enough or they will
find that comfort elsewhere.
7. Give gifts ~ nice small gifts are appreciated every once in a while
8. Smile often ~ I would say: Smile Always because it is contagious
and you are more likely to be smiled at when you show your teeth more
often!!
9. Touch ~ intimacy between married people is very important and
touching is a means of communication that reflects closeness,
connection and love; it is your way of keeping the spark alive.
10. Talk about dreams ~ dreams of the future that is; if you don't
share your dreams with your spouse; then who?
11. Select a song that can be "our song" ~ this sounds like a cliché,
but it can be nice, don't you think?
12. Give back rubs ~ this means: be comforting both mentally and
physically and if you don't know how to give back rubs and massages;
it is time to learn!
13. Laugh together ~ laughter is like smiling and as they say: it is
medicine. When you share good laughs together; the fun grows in the
relationship and you grow closer and stronger every day.
14. Send a card for no reason ~ another cliché? Maybe, but everyone
likes to receive a nice "I love you" or "I miss you" notes every once
in a while; it does boost one's ego, doesn't it?
15. Do what the other person wants before he or she asks ~ of course;
you need to know your spouse so well to be able to do this one. I
guess this comes with time as you grow to know each other but seek to
get that knowledge; don't assume that it will come to you!
16. Listen ~ this could be the most important one ever, but note that
you should listen with empathy and not just hear what they are saying;
you should get involved.
17. Encourage ~ positive support and being there for one another is
also very important; seek their support and give them yours and be
generous!
18. Do it his or her way ~ sometimes; you need to do things their way
just to show how much you love them and respect their feelings.
19. Know his or her needs ~ what good is a spouse if he/she does not
know the needs of their significant others? This should be your
primary concern!
20. Compliment twice a day ~ everyone likes to hear something nice as
a compliment; so give them that when it is due. It should not be
literally twice but don't be extreme by not giving at all or giving
too much; just say something nice when you can.
21. Fix the other person's breakfast ~ it doesn't have to be breakfast
in bed though!
22. Call during the day ~ but don't over do it and be obsessed with
calling him/her. Give them their space but also show them that you
think of them by a 2-minutes phone call saying "how are you doing?"
23. Slow down ~ and don't jump to conclusions; always give the benefit
of the doubt and wait to hear them out.
24. Cuddle ~ yes; intimacy is very important and reflects love and
deep feelings.
25. Ask for each others' opinion ~ absolutely; whose opinion would you
seek if not your spouse's? Your decisions will reflect both your lives
and not only your own, so their opinion is important for you to make
the right move.
26. Show respect ~ all the time; whether you are alone or among
others. Showing respect is more important than showing love.
27. Welcome the other person home ~ show enthusiasm when they come
home and greet them; this means that you are happy because they are
home now and that you were waiting for them!
28. Look your best ~ I understand that this is not easy to implement
since we face different situations all day long, however; it does
count that you make the effort to look your best every once in a while
just for their sake and not only because you are going out or
expecting guests, get the point?
29. Wink at each other ~ another cliché? Probably, but it can be any
other gesture like smiling their way across the room or dining table,
or holding their hand for a minute, just anything that appeals to both
of you.
30. Celebrate birthdays in a big way ~ this does not mean a big party;
just show them you care about their personal occasions.
31. Apologize ~ and don't be too stubborn to admit that you made a
mistake, because apologizing can clear things between you and allows
you to move on from the conflict in a healthy manner.
32. Forgive ~ from the heart and not only in words; forgive them and mean it.
33. Set up a romantic getaway ~ this sounds like fun every once in a
while; no harm in that!
34. Ask, "What can I do to make you happier?" ~ in other words;
communicate and keep it going, because one's needs might change along
the way, and what they used to like a couple of years ago might not be
appealing to them now; so make sure you ask them what does make them
happy and do it.
35. Be positive ~ even when it is a negative era of your lives; always
try to show the full half of the cup.
36. Be kind ~ and nice.
37. Be vulnerable ~ let those guards down and show your true colors.
38. Respond quickly to the other person's request ~ show them that you
are doing this because you care for them the most.
39. Talk about your love ~ again; communicate. Always tell them as
well as show them how much you love them and how happy you are because
of having them in your lives.
40. Treat each others' friends and relatives with courtesy ~ even if
you don't like their family and/or friends, you treat them with
respect and courtesy for the sake of your spouse; they deserve that
much.
41. Send flowers every Valentine's Day and anniversary ~ or just for
the sake of it; flowers can say a lot on your behalf.
42. Admit when wrong ~ don't be too arrogant to say it.
43. Be sensitive to each other's sexual desires ~ more importantly;
understand these desires and keep the communication going.
44. Pray for each other daily ~ and do it from the heart.
45. Watch sunsets together ~ just share such moments together; it does
not have to be sunset; it can be anything else.
46. Say "I love you" frequently ~ don't assume that they know you love
them; everyone likes to hear it, so say it!
47. End the day with a hug ~ show closeness and again; intimacy.
48. Seek outside help when needed ~ if you reach a point when you feel
that you cannot solve the problem alone; seek the help of someone you
both trust before giving up, or go for professional help as a last
resort. Never feel ashamed of that; seeking help is a lot better than
giving up and doing your very best to solve your issues. You owe it to
yourself and to them to do that.
FROM youth of China
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