Listen before you speak

  A real conversation cannot be one-sided. When talking with a friend, or potential friend, take the time to listen first, and worry later about being heard yourself. Your generositywill be reciprocated.

  The foundation for a meaningful friendship, one that is based on  mutual respect and caring, starts the moment you meet someone. At that point, you are presented not only with that person's words, but also with lots of other information: his or her tone of voice, body language, colloquialisms, and mannerisms. The way you absorb and respond to that wealth of information can make or break the new relationship. If someone senses that you are not making the effort to listen or are not really interested in what he or she is saying, he or she will probably just stop talking to you. But if you make an effort to genuinely hear and understand, you will generate further conversation--and a real connection. Listen up!

 -

In your next conversation, note any tendency on your part to drift away while the other person is speaking, and focus your attention on their words.

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from <The art of friendship>, Roger Horchow, Sally Horchow

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new words:

generosity

reciprocate

colloquialism

genuinely

tendency

proverb

Humor has been well defined as thinking in fun while feeling in
earnest. (Mark Twain , American novelist )
幽默被人正确地解释为"以诚挚表达感受，寓深思于嬉笑"。(美国小说家 马克*吐温)

The decline of literature indicates the decline of a nation ; the two
keep in their downward tendency.( Johan Wolfgang von Goethe , German
poet )
文学的衰落表明一个民族的衰落。这两者走下坡路的时间是齐头并进的。(德国诗人 歌德 . J . W .)

Activity is the only road to knowledge . (George Bernard Shaw ,
British dramatist)
行动是通往知识的唯一道路。 (英国剧作家 肖伯纳. G.)

A great part to the information I have was acquired by looking up
something and finding something else on the way .(Adams Franklin ,
American humorist )
我的大部分知识都是这样获得的：在寻找某个资料时意外的发现了另外的资料。(美国幽默作家 富兰克林. A.)

Imagination is more important than knowledge .(Albert Einstein ,
American scientist )
想象力比知识更为重要。 (美国科学家 爱因斯坦. A. )

Eternal truths will be neither true nor eternal unless they have fresh
meaning for every new social situation . (Franklin Roosevelt ,
American president )
永恒的真理如果不在新的社会形势下赋予新的意义,要么就不是真理,要么就不是永恒的。 (美国总统罗斯福 . F.)

Histories make men wise ; poems witty; the mathematics subtle; natural
philosophy deep ; moral grave ; logic and rhetoric able to contend
.(Francis Bacon , British philosopher )
历史使人明智；诗词使人灵秀；数学使人周密；哲学使人深刻；伦理使人庄重；逻辑修辞学使人善辨。(英国哲学家培根)

If you don't learn to think when you are young , you may never learn
.(Thomas Edison , American inventor )
如果你年轻时就没有学会思考，那么就永远学不会思考。(美国发明家 爱迪生 . T.)

If you want to understand today , you have to search yesterday .(Pearl
Buck , American female writer )
想要懂得今天，就必须研究昨天。(美国女作家 赛珍珠)

Ordinary people merely think how they shall spend their time ; a man
of talent tries to use it . (Arthur Schopenhauer , German philosopher
)
普通人只想到如何度过时间，有才能的人设法利用时间。(德国哲学家 叔本华. A. )

The time of life is short ; to spend that shortness basely, it would
be too long . (William Shakespeare , British dramatist )
人生苦短，若虚度年华，则短暂的人生就太长了。(英国剧作家 莎士比亚. W.)

Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money ; it lies in the
joy of achievement , in the thrill of creative effort .(Franklin
Roosevelt , American president )
幸福不在于拥有金钱，而在于获得成就时的喜悦以及产生创造力的激情。(美国总统 罗斯福. F.)

To really understand a man we must judge him in misfortune .(Bonaparte
Napoleon , French emperor )
要真正了解一个人，需在不幸中考察他。 (法国皇帝 拿破仑. B .)

All the splendor 1 in the world is not worth a good friend .(Voltaire
, French thinker)
人世间所有的荣华富贵不如一个好朋友。 (法国思想家 伏尔泰)

Sloth , like rust , consumes faster than labor wears .(Benjamin
Franklin , American president)
懒惰像生锈一样，比操劳更能消耗身体。 (美国总统 富兰克林. B.)

If you wish to succeed , you should use persistence as your good
friend , experience as your reference , prudence as your brother and
hope as your sentry. (Thomas Edison , American inventor )
如果你希望成功，当以恒心为良友、以经验为参谋、以谨慎为兄弟、以希望为哨兵。 (美国发明家 爱迪生. T.)

Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly ever
acquire the skill to do difficult things easily . (Friedrich Schiller
, German Dramatist and poet).
只有有耐心圆满完成简单工作的人，才能够轻而易举地完成困难的事。(德国剧作家、诗人 席勒. F.)

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look
for circumstances they want , and if they cannot find them .they make
them. (George Bernard Shaw , British dramatist )
在这个世界上，取得成功的人是那些努力寻找机会的人，如果找不到机会，他们就去创造机会。(英国剧作家肖伯纳. G.)

from http://shiyong.neworiental.org/Default.aspx?TabID=1253&InfoID=100409&SettingModuleID=4866

Change your day-to-day habits

We all have regular routines we follow and ingrained patterns of
behavior . Here are some suggestions for changing your day-to-day
habits to allow for more spontaneous and fun meetings:
Take time rith breakfast instead of rushing.Stop at a different coffee
shop. Instead of sitting hunched over your coffee reading the
newspaper ,make a point of saying hello to one person.
Lunch is the perfect time of day to take a break from your
routine.Pack a lunch and go to a local park to eat it. Enjoy the
noontime sun and be open to connections.
Dinner of cocktail hour is the most popular time to ger together with
friends.Shake up the routine and try a new restaurant or bar .Organize
a cocktail party and invite a new acquaintance.
Although the shortest distance between two points is a straight line
,it can also be the least interesting route.Try a different path or
vary your mode of transportation.
If you might have fallen into the habit of watching television or
reading a book to unwind;instead consider a visit your local bookstore
to browse.or find a comfortable park bench and watch the sunset
instead of TV.
Answering your daily quota of e-mails can be more than simply
routine.Take this opportunity to reconnect by sending a message to a
friend with whom you've lost touch. Even beter,handwrite a card and
send it the old-fashioned way.
If you like to read ,join a book club.
If you're normally a homebody who rents movies, invite some
acquaintances over for a movie night.
The people who live in your neighborhood,condo,or building already
share something in common with you. Introduce yourself :many lasting
friendships have been formed over the backyard fence or in the
apartment building foyer.
Your work brings you in contact with a multitude of people . Instead
of a quick nod, take the time for an introduction that might lead to a
meaningful connection.
Make a plan to meet in person a work colleague you know only through
the phone or e-mail.
Stepping outside your comfortable boundaries might cause an edge of
trepidation or nervousness. Accept the challenge! Wint each new
encounter, the next becomes easier.

------from <the art of friendship> Roger Horchow and Sally Horchow