In a health friendship,the give-and-take of listening is balanced. Day-to-day exchanges are epually about each other's experiences and feelings. When you have a more serious need to talk, your friend will happily take on the listening role, knowing that when she has a problem, you will be all ears. Roger's friend Jacques has an amusing take on this aspect of their relationship:at the beginning of their weekly lunch,he asks, "Do you want to be the baby today? Or do you want to be the father?"
You may not discuss the balance as openly,but you should be aware of it-and avoid letting it tilt too far in one direction. Being a good listener does not mean that all you do is listen;it means that you respond sensitively,and share your own relevant experiences. A relationship in which one person does all the talkingand the other all the listening is a shrink-patient relationship,not a friendship!
from<the art of friendship> by Roger Horchow
