6/23/2009

英文版《荒野的呼唤》,第一章

THE CALL OF THE WILD
by Jack London 1903
荒野的呼唤
作者:(美)杰克.伦敦

CHAPTER ONE.
Into the Primitive.

Old longings nomadic leap,
Chafing at custom's chain;
Again from its brumal sleep
Wakens the ferine strain.

BUCK DID NOT READ THE newspapers, or he would have known that
trouble was brewing not alone for himself, but for every tide-water
dog, strong of muscle and with warm, long hair, from Puget Sound to
San Diego. Because men, groping in the Arctic darkness, had found a
yellow metal, and because steamship and transportation companies
were booming the find, thousands of men were rushing into the
Northland. These men wanted dogs, and the dogs they wanted were
heavy dogs, with strong muscles by which to toil and furry coats to
protect them from the frost.
Buck lived at a big house in the sun-kissed Santa Clara Valley.
Judge Miller's place, it was called. It stood back from the road, half
hidden among the trees, through which glimpses could be caught of
the wide cool veranda that ran around its four sides. The house was
approached by gravelled driveways which wound about through
widespreading lawns and under the interlacing boughs of tall
poplars. At the rear things were on even a more spacious scale than at
the front. There were great stables, where a dozen grooms and boys
held forth, rows of vine-clad servants' cottages, an endless and
orderly array of out-houses, long grape arbours, green pastures,
orchards, and berry patches. Then there was the pumping plant for
the artesian well, and the big cement tank where Judge Miller's boys
took their morning plunge and kept cool in the hot afternoon.
And over this great demesne Buck ruled. Here he was born, and here
he had lived the four years of his life. It was true, there were other
dogs. There could not but be other dogs on so vast a place, but they
did not count. They came and went, resided in the populous kennels, or
lived obscurely in the recesses of the house after the fashion of
Toots, the Japanese pug, or Ysabel, the Mexican hairless- strange
creatures that rarely put nose out of doors or set foot to ground.
On the other hand, there were the fox terriers, a score of them at
least, who yelped fearful promises at Toots and Ysabel looking out
of the windows at them and protected by a legion of housemaids armed
with brooms and mops.
But Buck was neither house-dog nor kennel-dog. The whole realm was
his. He plunged into the swimming tank or went hunting with the
Judge's sons; he escorted Mollie and Alice, the Judge's daughters,
on long twilight or early morning rambles; on wintry nights he lay
at the Judge's feet before the roaring library fire; he carried the
Judge's grandsons on his back, or rolled them in the grass, and
guarded their footsteps through wild adventures down to the fountain
in the stable yard, and even beyond, where the paddocks were, and
the berry patches. Among the terriers he stalked imperiously, and
Toots and Ysabel he utterly ignored, for he was king- king over all
the creeping, crawling, flying things of Judge Miller's place,
humans included.
His father, Elmo, a huge St. Bernard, had been the Judge's
inseparable companion and Buck did fair to follow in the way of his
father. He was not so large- he weighed only one hundred and forty
pounds- for his mother, Shep, had been a Scotch shepherd dog.
Nevertheless, one hundred and forty pounds, to which was added the
dignity that comes of good living and universal respect, enabled him
to carry himself in right royal fashion. During the four years since
his puppyhood he had lived the life of a sated aristocrat; he had a
fine pride in himself, was ever a trifle egotistical, as country
gentlemen sometimes become because of their insular situation. But
he had saved himself by not becoming a mere pampered house-dog.
Hunting and kindred outdoor delights had kept down the fat and
hardened his muscles; and to him, as to the cold-tubbing races, the
love of water had been a tonic and a health preserver.
And this was the manner of dog Buck was in the fall of 1897, when
the Klondike strike dragged men from all the world into the frozen
North. But Buck did not read the newspapers, and he did not know
that Manuel, one of the gardener's helpers, was an undesirable
acquaintance. Manuel had one besetting sin. He loved to play Chinese
lottery. Also, in his gambling, he had one besetting weakness- faith
in a system; and this made his damnation certain. For to play a system
requires money, while the wages of a gardener's helper do not lap over
the needs of a wife and numerous progeny.
The Judge was at a meeting of the Raisin Growers' Association, and
the boys were busy organising an athletic club, on the memorable night
of Manuel's treachery. No one saw him and Buck go off through the
orchard on what Buck imagined was merely a stroll. And with the
exception of a solitary man, no one saw them arrive at the little flag
station known as College Park. This man talked with Manuel, and
money clinked between them.
'You might wrap up the goods before you deliver 'm,' the stranger
said gruffly, and Manuel doubled a piece of stout rope around Buck's
neck under the collar.
'Twist it, an' you'll choke 'm plentee,' said Manuel, and the
stranger grunted a ready affirmative.
Buck had accepted the rope with quiet dignity. To be sure, it was an
unwonted performance: but he had learned to trust in men he knew,
and to give them credit for a wisdom that outreached his own. But when
the ends of the rope were placed in the stranger's hands, he growled
menacingly. He had merely intimated his displeasure, in his pride
believing that to intimate was to command. But to his surprise the
rope tightened around his neck, shutting off his breath. In quick rage
he sprang at the man, who met him halfway, grappled him close by the
throat, and with a deft twist threw him over on his back. Then the
rope tightened mercilessly, while Buck struggled in a fury, his tongue
lolling out of his mouth and his great chest panting futilely. Never
in all his life had he been so vilely treated, and never in all his
life had he been so angry. But his strength ebbed, his eyes glazed,
and he knew nothing when the train was flagged and the two men threw
him into the baggage car.
The next he knew, he was dimly aware that his tongue was hurting and
that he was being jolted along in some kind of conveyance. The
hoarse shriek of a locomotive whistling a crossing told him where he
was. He had travelled too often with the Judge not to know the
sensation of riding in a baggage car. He opened his eyes, and into
them came the unbridled anger of a kidnapped king. The man sprang
for his throat, but Buck was too quick for him. His jaws closed on the
hand; nor did they relax till his senses were choked out of him once
more.
'Yep, has fits,' the man said, hiding his mangled hand from the
baggageman, who had been attracted by the sounds of struggle. 'I'm
takin' 'im up for the boss to 'Frisco. A crack dog-doctor there thinks
that he can cure 'im.'
Concerning that night's ride the man spoke most eloquently for
himself, in a little shed back of a saloon on the San Francisco
water front.
'All I get is fifty for it,' he grumbled; 'an' I wouldn't do it over
for a thousand, cold cash.'
His hand was wrapped in a bloody handkerchief, and the right trouser
leg was ripped from knee to ankle.
'How much did the other mug get?' the saloon-keeper demanded.
'A hundred,' was the reply. 'Wouldn't take a sou less, so help me.'
'That makes a hundred and fifty,' the saloon-keeper calculated, 'and
he's worth it, or I'm a squarehead.'
The kidnapper undid the bloody wrappings and looked at his lacerated
hand. 'If I don't get the hydrophoby-'
'It'll be because you were born to hang,' laughed the saloon-keeper.
'Here, lend me a hand before you pull your freight,' he added.
Dazed, suffering intolerable pain from throat and tongue, with the
life half throttled out of him, Buck attempted to face his tormentors.
But he was thrown down and choked repeatedly, till they succeeded in
filing the heavy brass collar from off his neck. Then the rope was
removed, and he was flung into a cage-like crate.
There he lay for the remainder of the weary night, nursing his wrath
and wounded pride. He could not understand what it all meant. What did
they want with him, these strange men? Why were they keeping him
pent up in this narrow crate? He did not know why, but he felt
oppressed by the vague sense of impending calamity. Several times
during the night he sprang to his feet when the shed door rattled
open, expecting to see the Judge, or the boys at least. But each
time it was the bulging face of the saloon-keeper that peered in at
him by the sickly light of a tallow candle. And each time the joyful
bark that trembled in Buck's throat was twisted into a savage growl.
But the saloon-keeper let him alone, and in the morning four men
entered and picked up the crate. More tormentors, Buck decided, for
they were evil-looking creatures, ragged and unkempt; and he stormed
and raged at them through the bars. They only laughed and poked sticks
at him, which he promptly assailed with his teeth till he realised
that that was what they wanted. Whereupon he lay down sullenly and
allowed the crate to be lifted into a waggon. Then he, and the crate
in which he was imprisoned, began a passage through many hands. Clerks
in the express office took charge of him; he was carted about in
another waggon; a truck carried him, with an assortment of boxes and
parcels, upon a ferry steamer; he was trucked off the steamer into a
great railway depot, and finally he was deposited in an express car.
For two days and nights this express car was dragged along at the
tail of shrieking locomotives; and for two days and nights Buck
neither ate nor drank. In his anger he had met the first advances of
the express messengers with growls, and they had retaliated by teasing
him. When he flung himself against the bars, quivering and frothing,
they laughed at him and taunted him. They growled and barked like
detestable dogs, mewed, and flapped their arms and crowed. It was
all very silly, he knew; but therefore the more outrage to his
dignity, and his anger waxed and waxed. He did not mind the hunger
so much, but the lack of water caused him severe suffering and
fanned his wrath to fever-pitch. For that matter, high-strung and
finely sensitive, the ill treatment had flung him into a fever,
which was fed by the inflammation of his parched and swollen throat
and tongue.
He was glad for one thing: the rope was off his neck. That had given
them an unfair advantage; but now that it was off, he would show them.
They would never get another rope around his neck. Upon that he was
resolved. For two days and nights he neither ate nor drank, and during
those two days and nights of torment, he accumulated a fund of wrath
that boded ill for whoever first fell foul of him. His eyes turned
bloodshot, and he was metamorphosed into a raging fiend. So changed
was he that the Judge himself would not have recognised him; and the
express messengers breathed with relief when they bundled him off
the train at Seattle.
Four men gingerly carried the crate from the waggon into a small,
high-walled backyard. A stout man, with a red sweater that sagged
generously at the neck, came out and signed the book for the driver.
That was the man, Buck divined, the next tormentor, and he hurled
himself savagely against the bars. The man smiled grimly, and
brought a hatchet and a club.
'You ain't going to take him out now?' the driver asked.
'Sure,' the man replied, driving the hatchet into the crate for a
pry.
There was an instantaneous scattering of the four men who had
carried it in, and from safe perches on top the wall they prepared
to watch the performance.
Buck rushed at the splintering wood, sinking his teeth into it,
surging and wrestling with it. Wherever the hatchet fell on the
outside, he was there on the inside, snarling and growling, as
furiously anxious to get out as the man in the red sweater was
calmly intent on getting him out.
'Now, you red-eyed devil,' he said, when he had made an opening
sufficient for the passage of Buck's body. At the same time he dropped
the hatchet and shifted the club to his right hand.
And Buck was truly a red-eyed devil, as he drew himself together for
the spring, hair bristling, mouth foaming, a mad glitter in his
bloodshot eyes. Straight at the man he launched his one hundred and
forty pounds of fury, surcharged with the pent passion of two days and
nights. In mid-air, just as his jaws were about to close on the man,
he received a shock that checked his body and brought his teeth
together with an agonising clip. He whirled over, fetching the
ground on his back and side. He had never been struck by a club in his
life, and did not understand. With a snarl that was part bark and more
scream he was again on his feet and launched into the air. And again
the shock came and he was brought crushingly to the ground. This
time he was aware that it was the club, but his madness knew no
caution. A dozen times he charged, and as often the club broke the
charge and smashed him down.
After a particularly fierce blow, he crawled to his feet, too
dazed to rush. He staggered limply about, the blood flowing from
nose and mouth and ears, his beautiful coat sprayed and flecked with
bloody slaver. Then the man advanced and deliberately dealt him a
frightful blow on the nose. All the pain he had endured was as nothing
compared with the exquisite agony of this. With a roar that was almost
lionlike in its ferocity, he again hurled himself at the man. But
the man, shifting the club from right to left, coolly caught him by
the under jaw, at the same time wrenching downward and backward.
Buck described a complete circle in the air, and half of another, then
crashed to the ground on his head and chest.
For the last time he rushed. The man struck the shrewd blow he had
purposely withheld for so long, and Buck crumpled up and went down,
knocked utterly senseless.
'He's no slouch at dog-breakin', that's wot I say,' one of the men
on the wall cried enthusiastically.
'Druther break cayuses any day, and twice on Sundays,' was the reply
of the driver, as he climbed on the waggon and started the horses.
Buck's senses came back to him, but not his strength. He lay where
he had fallen, and from there he watched the man in the red sweater.
'"Answers to the name of Buck,"' the man soliloquised, quoting
from the saloon-keeper's letter which had announced the consignment of
the crate and contents. 'Well, Buck, my boy,' he went on in a genial
voice, 'we've had our little ruction, and the best thing we can do
is to let it go at that. You've learned your place, and I know mine.
Be a good dog, and all 'll go well and the goose hang high. Be a bad
dog, and I'll whale the stuffin' outa you. Understand?'
As he spoke he fearlessly patted the head he had so mercilessly
pounded, and though Buck's hair involuntarily bristled at touch of the
hand, he endured it without protest. When the man brought water he
drank eagerly, and later bolted a generous meal of raw meat, chunk
by chunk, from the man's hand.
He was beaten (he knew that); but he was not broken. He saw, once
for all, that he stood no chance against a man with a club. He had
learned the lesson, and in all his afterlife he never forgot it.
That club was a revelation. It was his introduction to the reign of
primitive law, and he met the introduction halfway. The facts of
life took on a fiercer aspect; and while he faced that aspect uncowed,
he faced it with all the latent cunning of his nature aroused. As
the days went by, other dogs came in crates and at the ends of
ropes, some docilely, and some raging and roaring as he had come; and,
one and all, he watched them pass under the dominion of the man in the
red sweater. Again and again, as he looked at each brutal performance,
the lesson was driven home to Buck: a man with a club was a
lawgiver, a master to be obeyed, though not necessarily conciliated.
Of this last Buck was never guilty, though he did see beaten dogs that
fawned upon the man, and wagged their tails, and licked his hand. Also
he saw one dog, that would neither conciliate nor obey, finally killed
in the struggle for mastery.
Now and again men came, strangers, who talked excitedly,
wheedlingly, and in all kinds of fashions to the man in the red
sweater. And at such times that money passed between them the
strangers took one or more of the dogs away with them. Buck wondered
where they went, for they never came back; but the fear of the
future was strong upon him, and he was glad each time when he was
not selected.
Yet his time came, in the end, in the form of a little weazened
man who spat broken English and many strange and uncouth
exclamations which Buck could not understand.
'Sacredam!' he cried, when his eyes lit upon Buck. 'Dat one dam
bully dog! Eh? How much?'
'Three hundred, and a present at that,' was the prompt reply of
the man in the red sweater. 'And seein' it's government money, you
ain't got no kick coming; eh, Perrault?'
Perrault grinned. Considering that the price of dogs had been boomed
skyward by the unwonted demand, it was not an unfair sum for so fine
an animal. The Canadian Government would be no loser, nor would its
despatches travel the slower. Perrault knew dogs, and when he looked
at Buck he knew that he was one in a thousand- 'One in ten
t'ousand,' he commented mentally.
Buck saw money pass between them, and was not surprised when
Curly, a good-natured Newfoundland, and he were led away by the little
weazened man. That was the last he saw of the man in the red
sweater, and as Curly and he looked at receding Seattle from the
deck of the Narwhal, it was the last he saw of the warm Southland.
Curly and he were taken below by Perrault and turned over to a
black-faced giant called Francois. Perrault was a French-Canadian, and
swarthy; but Francois was a French-Canadian half-breed, and twice as
swarthy. They were a new kind of men to Buck (of which he was destined
to see many more), and while he developed no affection for them, he
none the less grew honestly to respect them. He speedily learned
that Perrault and Francois were fair men, calm and impartial in
administering justice, and too wise in the way of dogs to be ever
fooled by dogs.
In the 'tween-decks of the Narwhal, Buck and Curly joined two
other dogs. One of them was a big, snow-white fellow from
Spitzbergen who had been brought away by a whaling captain, and who
had later accompanied a Geological Survey into the Barrens.
He was friendly, in a treacherous sort of way, smiling into one's
face the while he meditated some underhand trick, as, for instance,
when he stole from Buck's food at the first meal. As Buck sprang to
punish him, the lash of Francois whip sang through the air, reaching
the culprit first; and nothing remained to Buck but to recover the
bone. That was fair of Francois, he decided, and the half-breed
began to rise in Buck's estimation.
The other dog made no advance, nor received any; also, he did not
attempt to steal from the newcomers. He was a gloomy, morose fellow,
and he showed Curly plainly that all he desired was to be left
alone, and further, that there would be trouble if he were not left
alone. 'Dave' he was called, and he ate and slept, or yawned between
times, and took interest in nothing, not even when the Narwhal crossed
Queen Charlotte Sound and rolled and pitched and bucked like a thing
possessed. When Buck and Curly grew excited, half wild with fear, he
raised his head as though annoyed, favoured them with an incurious
glance, yawned, and went to sleep again.
Day and night the ship throbbed to the tireless pulse of the
propeller, and though one day was very like another, it was apparent
to Buck that the weather was steadily growing colder. At last, one
morning, the propeller was quiet, and the Narwhal was pervaded with an
atmosphere of excitement. He felt it, as did the other dogs, and
knew that a change was at hand. Francois leashed them and brought them
on deck. At the first step upon the cold surface, Buck's feet sank
into a white mushy something very like mud. He sprang back with a
snort. More of this white stuff was falling through the air. He
shook himself, but more of it fell upon him. He sniffed it
curiously, then licked some up on his tongue. It bit like fire, and
the next instant was gone. This puzzled him. He tried it again, with
the same result. The onlookers laughed uproariously, and he felt
ashamed, he knew not why, for it was his first snow.

6/04/2009

Theme song of "Kongfu panda": Kongfu frighting

Theme song of "Kongfu panda": Kongfu frighting
《功夫熊猫》主题曲:功夫英雄
翻译:天山2003(http://engbook.blogspot.com)

Everybody is kung fu fighting
Your mind becomes fast as lighting
Althrough the future is a little bit fright'ning
It's the book of your life that you're writing

每人都是功夫英雄
你的思路飞快似电
虽然前路有点危险
你在书写你的人生

You are a natural
Why is it so hard to see
Maybe it's just because
You keep on looking at me

你本天性自然
为何难觅自己
也许当局者迷
你只盯着我看

The journey's a lonely one
So much more than we know
But sometimes you've got to go
Go on and be your own hero

路途孤独遥远
充满未知危险
但你必须出发
成为自己的英雄

Everybody is kung fu fighting
Your mind becomes fast as lighting
Althrough the future is a little bit fright'ning
It's the book of your life that you're writing

每人都是功夫英雄
你的思路飞快似电
虽然前路有点危险
你在书写你的人生

You're a diamond in the rough
A brilliant ball of clay
You could be a work of art
If you just go all the way

你是天然璞玉
未曾烧炼的泥土
你是艺术杰作
只要坚持你的路

Now what would it take to break
I believe that you can bend
Now only do you have to fight
But you have got to win

还有什么需要打破
我知道你能走过
只需继续战斗
你早注定要赢

Cause everybody is kung fu fighting
Your mind becomes fast as lighting
Althrough the future is a little bit fright'ning
It's the book of your life that you're writing

因为每人都是功夫英雄
你的思路飞快似电
虽然前路有点危险
你在书写你的人生

You're a diamond in the rough
A brilliant ball of clay
You could be a work of art
If you just go all the way

你是天然璞玉
未曾烧炼的泥土
你是艺术杰作
只要坚持你的路

Now what would it take to break
I believe that you can bend
Now only do you have to fight
But you have got to win

还有什么需要打破
我知道你能走过
只需继续战斗
你早注定要赢

Cause everybody is kung fu fighting
Your mind becomes fast as lighting
Althrough the future is a little bit fright'ning
It's the book of your life that you're writing

因为每人都是功夫英雄
你的思路飞快似电
虽然前路有点危险
你在书写你的人生

6/03/2009

《功夫熊猫》经典语录

Kongfu panda's words.
《功夫熊猫》经典语录(附简译)

1.One meets its destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

2.Your mind is like this water, my friend , when it is agitated ,it
becomes difficult to see ,but if you allow it to settle , the answer
becomes clear.

3.Quit? don't quit. Noodles? don't noodles.

4.You are too concerned with at once and what will be .
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a Gift:
That's why we call it----the Present.

5.There are no accidents

6.Shifu: ...but there are things we can control .
I can control when the fruit will fall...
And I can control What time to seed!

7.Tortoise:
Yes, but no matter what you do, That seed will grow to be a peach
tree. You may wish for an Apple or an orange,But you will get a peach.
Shifu: But peache can not defeate Tai Lung!
Tortoise: Maybe it can if you are willing to guide it , to nuture it ,
to believe in it .

8.
Shifu: Why didn't you quit ? you know I was trying to get rid of you
but you stayed!
Po:   Yes ,I stayed .
I stayed ,because every time you threw up brick on the head or
said I smelled ,it hurts.
  But it could never hurt more than I did everyday in my life just being me !
  I stayed ,because I thought .. If anyone could change me , could
make me not me ,
  it was you -- the greatest Kong Fu teacher in the whole of China!

9.  I'm sorry things didn't work out …
  It's just what it's meant to be
  Paul ,forget everything else ,your destiny still awaits.
  We are Noodle folk
  Broth runs deep through our veins

10.  The secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup is...nothing.
  To make something special ,you just have to believe it's special.

11. Tortoise's words:
You eat when you are upset.
There are not accidents.
No news are good or bad.
You just need to believe.
You must believe.

12. Shifu's words:
You must continue your journey without me.
Internal peace, harmony and foucs.

13. Furious five's words:
We are not trying to stop you, but coming with you!

14. Po's father's words:
We all have our places in the world.
There is not secret ingredients.

15.Po's words:
Because i am THE fat panda.
If he believes in himself, he can do anything.

Some translations:

1.往往在逃避命运的路上,却与之不期而遇
2.你的思想就如同水,我的朋友,当水波摇曳时,很难看清,不过当它平静下来,答案就清澈见底了。
3.放弃,不放弃。做面条,不做面条。你太在乎过去是怎样,将来会怎样了。有句谚语说得好,昨日之日不可留,明日之日未可知,今日之日胜现金。这就是为什么叫做"现金"了。
4.昨天是历史了,明天还是未知,但今天是礼物,所以今天才叫present(有"现在"和"礼物"的意思)。
5.存在即合理
6.师傅:但有些事情我们可以控制,我可以控制果实何时坠落,我还可以控制在何处播种。
7.乌龟:是啊 不过无论你做了什么,那个种子还是会长成桃树,你可能想要苹果 或桔子,可你只能得到桃子,那个种子还是会长成桃树。
  师傅:可桃子不能打败太郎。
  乌龟:也许它可以的 ,如果你愿意引导它、滋养它、相信它。
8.你不能走,真的武士决不会退却
  师傅:那你为什么不退出呢? 你知道我一直想把你赶走,可你还是留下来了。
  阿宝:是啊,我留下来了。
  我留下来是因为每次你往我头上丢砖头,或说我难闻,这很伤我的心。
  可最伤我心的是,我每天努力练习,却还是这个我。
  我留下来,因为我以为,
  如果还有人能改变我,
  能让我焕然一新,
  那就是你--
  中国最伟大的功夫师傅!
9. 阿宝,天不遂人愿,况且这本不是天意,阿宝,忘了其它的事情,你的使命一直都在向你召唤。
  我们是面条家族,
  血管中流着面汤。
10.我私家汤的绝密食材,就是……什么都没有。认为它特别,它就特别了。

6/01/2009

JOKE:I bet I know what it is...

On the last day of kindergarten, the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son gave her a box. She hook it, held it up, and said,
 "I bet I know what it is. Is it flowers?" 
"That's right!" said the boy. 
Then the candy store owner's son gave her his package. She shook it, held it up, and said, 
"I bet I know what it is. Is it a box of candy?"
 "That's right!" said the boy. 
Next the liquor store owner's son handed her his box. She shook it, held it up, and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. 
"I bet I know what it is. Is it wine?"
 "No," 
said the boy. She touched another drop to her tongue. 
"Is it Champagne?"
 "No," 
said the boy. 
"I give up. What is it?"
 The boy grinned:
"A puppy!" 

5/31/2009

JOKE:be my light,be my guide

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, 
"George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"
 George replied, 
"God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on when I pee, and then poof! the light goes off when I'm done."
 "Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "That's incredible!" 
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. 
"Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?" 
George's wife exclaimed,
 "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!".

5/16/2009

《小王子》英文版(第一部分)

Preface

To Leon Werth
   ask the indulgence of the children who may read this book for dedicating it to a grown-up. I have a serious reason: he is the best friend I have in the world. I have another reason: this grown-up understands everything, even books about children. I have a third reason: he lives in France where he is hungry and cold. He needs cheering up. If all these reasons are not enough, I will dedicate the book to the child from whom this grown-up grew. All grown-ups were once children-- although few of them remember it. And so I correct my dedication:  
To Leon Werth
when he was a little boy
 
[ Chapter 1 ]
       - we are introduced to the narrator, a pilot, and his ideas about grown-ups

  Once when I was six years old I saw a magnificent picture in a book, called True Stories from Nature, about the primeval forest. It was a picture of a boa constrictor in the act of swallowing an animal. Here is a copy of the drawing. 
  In the book it said: "Boa constrictors swallow their prey whole, without chewing it. After that they are not able to move, and they sleep through the six months that they need for digestion." 
  I pondered deeply, then, over the adventures of the jungle. And after some work with a colored pencil I succeeded in making my first drawing. My Drawing Number One. It looked like this: 

  I showed my masterpiece to the grown-ups, and asked them whether the drawing frightened them.
  But they answered: "Frighten? Why should any one be frightened by a hat?" 

  My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It was a picture of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant. But since the grown-ups were not able to understand it, I made another drawing: I drew the inside of the boa constrictor, so that the grown-ups could see it clearly. They always need to have things explained. My Drawing Number Two looked like this: 

  The grown-ups‘ response, this time, was to advise me to lay aside my drawings of boa constrictors, whether from the inside or the outside, and devote myself instead to geography, history, arithmetic and grammar. That is why, at the age of six, I gave up what might have been a magnificent career as a painter. I had been disheartened by the failure of my Drawing Number One and my Drawing Number Two. Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.

  So then I chose another profession, and learned to pilot airplanes. I have flown a little over all parts of the world; and it is true that geography has been very useful to me. At a glance I can distinguish China from Arizona. If one gets lost in the night, such knowledge is valuable. 
  In the course of this life I have had a great many encounters with a great many people who have been concerned with matters of consequence. I have lived a great deal among grown-ups. I have seen them intimately, close at hand. And that hasn‘t much improved my opinion of them.

  Whenever I met one of them who seemed to me at all clear-sighted, I tried the experiment of showing him my Drawing Number One, which I have always kept. I would try to find out, so, if this was a person of true understanding. But, whoever it was, he, or she, would always say:"That is a hat."
  Then I would never talk to that person about boa constrictors, or primeval forests, or stars. I would bring myself down to his level. I would talk to him about bridge, and golf, and politics, and neckties. And the grown-up would be greatly pleased to have met such a sensible man.
 
[ Chapter 2 ] 
       - the narrator crashes in the desert and makes the acquaintance of the little prince

  So I lived my life alone, without anyone that I could really talk to, until I had an accident with my plane in the Desert of Sahara, six years ago. Something was broken in my engine. And as I had with me neither a mechanic nor any passengers, I set myself to attempt the difficult repairs all alone. It was a question of life or death for me: I had scarcely enough drinking water to last a week.

  The first night, then, I went to sleep on the sand, a thousand miles from any human habitation. I was more isolated than a shipwrecked sailor on a raft in the middle of the ocean. Thus you can imagine my amazement, at sunrise, when I was awakened by an odd little voice. It said: 

  "If you please-- draw me a sheep!"

  "What!"

  "Draw me a sheep!"

  I jumped to my feet, completely thunderstruck. I blinked my eyes hard. I looked carefully all around me. And I saw a most extraordinary small person, who stood there examining me with great seriousness. Here you may see the best potrait that, later, I was able to make of him. But my drawing is certainly very much less charming than its model.

   That, however, is not my fault. The grown-ups discouraged me in my painter‘s career when I was six years old, and I never learned to draw anything, except boas from the outside and boas from the inside.

  Now I stared at this sudden apparition with my eyes fairly starting out of my head in astonishment. Remember, I had crashed in the desert a thousand miles from any inhabited region. And yet my little man seemed neither to be straying uncertainly among the sands, nor to be fainting from fatigue or hunger or thirst or fear. Nothing about him gave any suggestion of a child lost in the middle of the desert, a thousand miles from any human habitation. When at last I was able to speak, I said to him: "But-- what are you doing here?"

  And in answer he repeated, very slowly, as if he were speaking of a matter of great consequence: "If you please-- draw me a sheep..."

  When a mystery is too overpowering, one dare not disobey. Absurd as it might seem to me, a thousand miles from any human habitation and in danger of death, I took out of my pocket a sheet of paper and my fountain-pen. But then I remembered how my studies had been concentrated on geography, history, arithmetic, and grammar, and I told the little chap (a little crossly, too) that I did not know how to draw. He answered me:"That doesn‘t matter. Draw me a sheep..."

  But I had never drawn a sheep. So I drew for him one of the two pictures I had drawn so often. It was that of the boa constrictor from the outside. And I was astounded to hear the little fellow greet it with, "No, no, no! I do not want an elephant inside a boa constrictor. A boa constrictor is a very dangerous creature, and an elephant is very cumbersome. Where I live, everything is very small. What I need is a sheep. Draw me a sheep." 

  So then I made a drawing. 

  He looked at it carefully, then he said: "No. This sheep is already very sickly. Make me another." 
  So I made another drawing. 

   My friend smiled gently and indulgenty. "You see yourself," he said, "that this is not a sheep. This is a ram. It has horns." 
  So then I did my drawing over once more. 

  But it was rejected too, just like the others. "This one is too old. I want a sheep that will live a long time."
  By this time my patience was exhausted, because I was in a hurry to start taking my engine apart. So I tossed off this drawing. 

  And I threw out an explanation with it. 

  "This is only his box. The sheep you asked for is inside."
  I was very surprised to see a light break over the face of my young judge: 
  "That is exactly the way I wanted it! Do you think that this sheep will have to have a great deal of grass?"
  "Why?"
  "Because where I live everything is very small..."
  "There will surely be enough grass for him," I said. "It is a very small sheep that I have given you." 
  He bent his head over the drawing: 
  "Not so small that-- Look! He has gone to sleep..."

  And that is how I made the acquaintance of the little prince.
 
[ Chapter 3 ]
     - the narrator learns more about from where the little prince came

  It took me a long time to learn where he came from. The little prince, who asked me so many questions, never seemed to hear the ones I asked him. It was from words dropped by chance that, little by little, everything was revealed to me. 
  The first time he saw my airplane, for instance (I shall not draw my airplane; that would be much too complicated for me), he asked me: "What is that object?"
  "That is not an object. It flies. It is an airplane. It is my airplane." And I was proud to have him learn that I could fly. 

  He cried out, then: "What! You dropped down from the sky?"
  "Yes," I answered, modestly.
  "Oh! That is funny!"
  And the little prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter, which irritated me very much. I like my misfortunes to be taken seriously.

  Then he added: "So you, too, come from the sky! Which is your planet?" 
  At that moment I caught a gleam of light in the impenetrable mystery of his presence; and I demanded, abruptly: "Do you come from another planet?" 
  But he did not reply. He tossed his head gently, without taking his eyes from my plane: "It is true that on that you can‘t have come from very far away..." 
  And he sank into a reverie, which lasted a long time. Then, taking my sheep out of his pocket, he buried himself in the contemplation of his treasure. 

  You can imagine how my curiosity was aroused by this half-confidence about the "other planets." I made a great effort, therefore, to find out more on this subject.
  "My little man, where do you come from? What is this ‘where I live,‘ of which you speak? Where do you want to take your sheep?"
  After a reflective silence he answered: "The thing that is so good about the box you have given me is that at night he can use it as his house." 
  "That is so. And if you are good I will give you a string, too, so that you can tie him during the day, and a post to tie him to." 
  But the little prince seemed shocked by this offer: "Tie him! What a queer idea!" 
  "But if you don‘t tie him," I said, "he will wander off somewhere, and get lost." 
  My friend broke into another peal of laughter: "But where do you think he would go?" 
  "Anywhere. Straight ahead of him." 
  Then the little prince said, earnestly: "That doesn‘t matter. Where I live, everything is so small!" 
  And, with perhaps a hint of sadness, he added: "Straight ahead of him, nobody can go very far..."
 
[ Chapter 4 ]
       - the narrator speculates as to which asteroid from which the little prince came  

  I had thus learned a second fact of great importance: this was that the planet the little prince came from was scarcely any larger than a house!
  But that did not really surprise me much. I knew very well that in addition to the great planets-- such as the Earth, Jupiter, Mars, Venus-- to which we have given names, there are also hundreds of others, some of which are so small that one has a hard time seeing them through the telescope. When an astronomer discovers one of these he does not give it a name, but only a number. He might call it, for example, "Asteroid 325." 

  I have serious reason to believe that the planet from which the little prince came is the asteroid known as B-612. This asteroid has only once been seen through the telescope. That was by a Turkish astronomer, in 1909. 

  On making his discovery, the astronomer had presented it to the International Astronomical Congress, in a great demonstration. But he was in Turkish costume, and so nobody would believe what he said.
  Grown-ups are like that... 

  Fortunately, however, for the reputation of Asteroid B-612, a Turkish dictator made a law that his subjects, under pain of death, should change to European costume. So in 1920 the astronomer gave his demonstration all over again, dressed with impressive style and elegance. And this time everybody accepted his report. 

  If I have told you these details about the asteroid, and made a note of its number for you, it is on account of the grown-ups and their ways. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, "What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?" Instead, they demand: "How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?" Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him. 

  If you were to say to the grown-ups: "I saw a beautiful house made of rosy brick, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof," they would not be able to get any idea of that house at all. You would have to say to them: "I saw a house that cost $20,000." Then they would exclaim: "Oh, what a pretty house that is!" 

  Just so, you might say to them: "The proof that the little prince existed is that he was charming, that he laughed, and that he was looking for a sheep. If anybody wants a sheep, that is a proof that he exists." And what good would it do to tell them that? They would shrug their shoulders, and treat you like a child. But if you said to them: "The planet he came from is Asteroid B-612," then they would be convinced, and leave you in peace from their questions. 
  They are like that. One must not hold it against them. Children should always show great forbearance toward grown-up people. 

  But certainly, for us who understand life, figures are a matter of indifference. I should have liked to begin this story in the fashion of the fairy-tales. I should have like to say: "Once upon a time there was a little prince who lived on a planet that was scarcely any bigger than himself, and who had need of a sheep..." 
  To those who understand life, that would have given a much greater air of truth to my story. 

  For I do not want any one to read my book carelessly. I have suffered too much grief in setting down these memories. Six years have already passed since my friend went away from me, with his sheep. If I try to describe him here, it is to make sure that I shall not forget him. To forget a friend is sad. Not every one has had a friend. And if I forget him, I may become like the grown-ups who are no longer interested in anything but figures...

  It is for that purpose, again, that I have bought a box of paints and some pencils. It is hard to take up drawing again at my age, when I have never made any pictures except those of the boa constrictor from the outside and the boa constrictor from the inside, since I was six. I shall certainly try to make my portraits as true to life as possible. But I am not at all sure of success. One drawing goes along all right, and another has no resemblance to its subject. I make some errors, too, in the littl e prince‘s height: in one place he is too tall and in another too short. And I feel some doubts about the color of his costume. So I fumble along as best I can, now good, now bad, and I hope generally fair-to-middling. 

  In certain more important details I shall make mistakes, also. But that is something that will not be my fault. My friend never explained anything to me. He thought, perhaps, that I was like himself. But I, alas, do not know how to see sheep through t he walls of boxes. Perhaps I am a little like the grown-ups. I have had to grow old.
[ Chapter 5 ]
       - we are warned as to the dangers of the baobabs

  As each day passed I would learn, in our talk, something about the little prince‘s planet, his departure from it, his journey. The information would come very slowly, as it might chance to fall from his thoughts. It was in this way that I heard, on the third day, about the catastrophe of the baobabs.
  This time, once more, I had the sheep to thank for it. For the little prince asked me abruptly-- as if seized by a grave doubt-- "It is true, isn‘t it, that sheep eat little bushes?" 
  "Yes, that is true." 
  "Ah! I am glad!"
  I did not understand why it was so important that sheep should eat little bushes. But the little prince added:
  "Then it follows that they also eat baobabs?" 
  I pointed out to the little prince that baobabs were not little bushes, but, on the contrary, trees as big as castles; and that even if he took a whole herd of elephants away with him, the herd would not eat up one single baobab.

  The idea of the herd of elephants made the little prince laugh.
  "We would have to put them one on top of the other," he said. 
  But he made a wise comment: 
  "Before they grow so big, the baobabs start out by being little."
  "That is strictly correct," I said. "But why do you want the sheep to eat the little baobabs?"
  He answered me at once, "Oh, come, come!", as if he were speaking of something that was self-evident. And I was obliged to make a great mental effort to solve this problem, without any assistance. 

  Indeed, as I learned, there were on the planet where the little prince lived-- as on all planets-- good plants and bad plants. In consequence, there were good seeds from good plants, and bad seeds from bad plants. But seeds are invisible. They sleep deep in the heart of the earth‘s darkness, until some one among them is seized with the desire to awaken. Then this little seed will stretch itself and begin-- timidly at first-- to push a charming little sprig inoffensively upward toward the sun. If it is only a sprout of radish or the sprig of a rose-bush, one would let it grow wherever it might wish. But when it is a bad plant, one must destroy it as soon as possible, the very first instant that one recognizes it. 

  Now there were some terrible seeds on the planet that was the home of the little prince; and these were the seeds of the baobab. The soil of that planet was infested with them. A baobab is something you will never, never be able to get rid of if you attend to it too late. It spreads over the entire planet. It bores clear through it with its roots. And if the planet is too small, and the baobabs are too many, they split it in pieces... 

  "It is a question of discipline," the little prince said to me later on. "When you‘ve finished your own toilet in the morning, then it is time to attend to the toilet of your planet, just so, with the greatest care. You must see to it that you pull up regularly all the baobabs, at the very first moment when they can be distinguished from the rosebushes which they resemble so closely in their earliest youth. It is very tedious work," the little prince added, "but very easy."
  And one day he said to me: "You ought to make a beautiful drawing, so that the children where you live can see exactly how all this is. That would be very useful to them if they were to travel some day. Sometimes," he added, "there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day. But when it is a matter of baobabs, that always means a catastrophe. I knew a planet that was inhabited by a lazy man. He neglected three little bushes..."

  So, as the little prince described it to me, I have made a drawing of that planet. I do not much like to take the tone of a moralist. But the danger of the baobabs is so little understood, and such considerable risks would be run by anyone who might get lost on an asteroid, that for once I am breaking through my reserve. "Children," I say plainly, "watch out for the baobabs!"
  My friends, like myself, have been skirting this danger for a long time, without ever knowing it; and so it is for them that I have worked so hard over this drawing. The lesson which I pass on by this means is worth all the trouble it has cost me. 
  Perhaps you will ask me, "Why are there no other drawing in this book as magnificent and impressive as this drawing of the baobabs?" 
  The reply is simple. I have tried. But with the others I have not been successful. When I made the drawing of the baobabs I was carried beyond myself by the inspiring force of urgent necessity.
[ Chapter 6 ]
       - the little prince and the narrator talk about sunsets

  Oh, little prince! Bit by bit I came to understand the secrets of your sad little life... For a long time you had found your only entertainment in the quiet pleasure of looking at the sunset. I learned that new detail on the morning of the fourth day, when you said to me: "I am very fond of sunsets. Come, let us go look at a sunset now." 
  "But we must wait," I said. 
  "Wait? For what?" 
  "For the sunset. We must wait until it is time." 
  At first you seemed to be very much surprised. And then you laughed to yourself. You said to me: 
  "I am always thinking that I am at home!"
  Just so. Everybody knows that when it is noon in the United States the sun is setting over France. 

  If you could fly to France in one minute, you could go straight into the sunset, right from noon. Unfortunately, France is too far away for that. But on your tiny planet, my little prince, all you need do is move your chair a few steps. You can see the day end and the twilight falling whenever you like...
  "One day," you said to me, "I saw the sunset forty-four times!"
  And a little later you added:
  "You know-- one loves the sunset, when one is so sad..."
  "Were you so sad, then?" I asked, "on the day of the forty-four sunsets?"
  But the little prince made no reply.
 
[ Chapter 7 ]
       - the narrator learns about the secret of the little prince's life 

  On the fifth day-- again, as always, it was thanks to the sheep-- the secret of the little prince‘s life was revealed to me. Abruptly, without anything to lead up to it, and as if the question had been born of long and silent meditation on his problem, he demanded: 
  "A sheep-- if it eats little bushes, does it eat flowers, too?"
  "A sheep," I answered, "eats anything it finds in its reach."
  "Even flowers that have thorns?"
  "Yes, even flowers that have thorns." 
  "Then the thorns-- what use are they?"

  I did not know. At that moment I was very busy trying to unscrew a bolt that had got stuck in my engine. I was very much worried, for it was becoming clear to me that the breakdown of my plane was extremely serious. And I had so little drinking-water left that I had to fear for the worst. 

  "The thorns-- what use are they?"
  The little prince never let go of a question, once he had asked it. As for me, I was upset over that bolt. And I answered with the first thing that came into my head: 

  "The thorns are of no use at all. Flowers have thorns just for spite!" 
  "Oh!" 
  There was a moment of complete silence. Then the little prince flashed back at me, with a kind of resentfulness: 
  "I don‘t believe you! Flowers are weak creatures. They are name. They reassure themselves as best they can. They believe that their thorns are terrible weapons..." 
  I did not answer. At that instant I was saying to myself: "If this bolt still won‘t turn, I am going to knock it out with the hammer." Again the little prince disturbed my thoughts. 
  "And you actually believe that the flowers--" 
  "Oh, no!" I cried. "No, no no! I don‘t believe anything. I answered you with the first thing that came into my head. Don‘t you see-- I am very busy with matters of consequence!" 
  He stared at me, thunderstruck. 
  "Matters of consequence!" 
  
  He looked at me there, with my hammer in my hand, my fingers black with engine-grease, bending down over an object which seemed to him extremely ugly... 
  "You talk just like the grown-ups!" 
  That made me a little ashamed. But he went on, relentlessly: 
  "You mix everything up together... You confuse everything..." 
  He was really very angry. He tossed his golden curls in the breeze. 
  "I know a planet where there is a certain red-faced gentleman. He has never smelled a flower. He has never looked at a star. He has never loved any one. He has never done anything in his life but add up figures. And all day he says over and over, just like you: ‘I am busy with matters of consequence!‘ And that makes him swell up with pride. But he is not a man-- he is a mushroom!" 
  "A what?" 
  "A mushroom!" 
  The little prince was now white with rage. 
  "The flowers have been growing thorns for millions of years. For millions of years the sheep have been eating them just the same. And is it not a matter of consequence to try to understand why the flowers go to so much trouble to grow thorns which are never of any use to them? Is the warfare between the sheep and the flowers not important? Is this not of more consequence than a fat red-faced gentleman‘s sums? And if I know-- I, myself-- one flower which is unique in the world, which grows nowhere but on my planet, but which one little sheep can destroy in a single bite some morning, without even noticing what he is doing-- Oh! You think that is not important!" 

  His face turned from white to red as he continued:
  "If some one loves a flower, of which just one single blossom grows in all the millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars. He can say to himself, ‘Somewhere, my flower is there...‘ But if the sheep eats the flower, in one moment all his stars will be darkened... And you think that is not important!" 
  He could not say anything more. His words were choked by sobbing. 


  The night had fallen. I had let my tools drop from my hands. Of what moment now was my hammer, my bolt, or thirst, or death? On one star, one planet, my planet, the Earth, there was a little prince to be comforted. I took him in my arms, and rocked him. I said to him:
  "The flower that you love is not in danger. I will draw you a muzzle for your sheep. I will draw you a railing to put around your flower. I will--" 
  I did not know what to say to him. I felt awkward and blundering. I did not know how I could reach him, where I could overtake him and go on hand in hand with him once more. 
  It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
[ Chapter 8 ]
      - the rose arrives at the little prince‘s planet 

  I soon learned to know this flower better. On the little prince‘s planet the flowers had always been very simple. They had only one ring of petals; they took up no room at all; they were a trouble to nobody. One morning they would appear in the grass, and by night they would have faded peacefully away. But one day, from a seed blown from no one knew where, a new flower had come up; and the little prince had watched very closely over this small sprout which was not like any other small sprouts on his planet. It might, you see, have been a new kind of baobab. 

  The shrub soon stopped growing, and began to get ready to produce a flower. The little prince, who was present at the first appearance of a huge bud, felt at once that some sort of miraculous apparition must emerge from it. But the flower was not satisfied to complete the preparations for her beauty in the shelter of her green chamber. She chose her colours with the greatest care. She adjusted her petals one by one. She did not wish to go out into the world all rumpled, like the field poppies. It was only in the full radiance of her beauty that she wished to appear. Oh, yes! She was a coquettish creature! And her mysterious adornment lasted for days and days. 


  Then one morning, exactly at sunrise, she suddenly showed herself. 
  And, after working with all this painstaking precision, she yawned and said: 
  "Ah! I am scarcely awake. I beg that you will excuse me. My petals are still all disarranged..." 
  But the little prince could not restrain his admiration: 
  "Oh! How beautiful you are!" 
  "Am I not?" the flower responded, sweetly. "And I was born at the same moment as the sun..." 
  The little prince could guess easily enough that she was not any too modest-- but how moving-- and exciting-- she was! 
  "I think it is time for breakfast," she added an instant later. "If you would have the kindness to think of my needs--" 
  And the little prince, completely abashed, went to look for a sprinkling-can of fresh water. So, he tended the flower. 

  So, too, she began very quickly to torment him with her vanity-- which was, if the truth be known, a little difficult to deal with. One day, for instance, when she was speaking of her four thorns, she said to the little prince: 
  "Let the tigers come with their claws!" 
  "There are no tigers on my planet," the little prince objected. "And, anyway, tigers do not eat weeds." 

  "I am not a weed," the flower replied, sweetly. 
  "Please excuse me..."
  "I am not at all afraid of tigers," she went on, "but I have a horror of drafts. I suppose you wouldn‘t have a screen for me?" 
  "A horror of drafts-- that is bad luck, for a plant," remarked the little prince, and added to himself, "This flower is a very complex creature..." 
  "At night I want you to put me under a glass globe. It is very cold where you live. In the place I came from--"


   But she interrupted herself at that point. She had come in the form of a seed. She could not have known anything of any other worlds. Embarassed over having let herself be caught on the verge of such a na�e untruth, she coughed two or three times, in order to put the little prince in the wrong. 
  "The screen?" 
  "I was just going to look for it when you spoke to me..." 
  Then she forced her cough a little more so that he should suffer from remorse just the same. 
  So the little prince, in spite of all the good will that was inseparable from his love, had soon come to doubt her. He had taken seriously words which were without importance, and it made him very unhappy. 
  "I ought not to have listened to her," he confided to me one day. "One never ought to listen to the flowers. One should simply look at them and breathe their fragrance. Mine perfumed all my planet. But I did not know how to take pleasure in all her grace. This tale of claws, which disturbed me so much, should only have filled my heart with tenderness and pity."
  And he continued his confidences: 
  "The fact is that I did not know how to understand anything! I ought to have judged by deeds and not by words. She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me. I ought never to have run away from her... I ought to have guessed all the affection that lay behind her poor little strategems. Flowers are so inconsistent! But I was too young to know how to love her..."

[ Chapter 9 ]
       - the little prince leaves his planet 

  I believe that for his escape he took advantage of the migration of a flock of wild birds. On the morning of his departure he put his planet in perfect order. He carefully cleaned out his active volcanoes. He possessed two active volcanoes; and they were very convenient for heating his breakfast in the morning. He also had one volcano that was extinct. But, as he said, "One never knows!" So he cleaned out the extinct volcano, too. If they are well cleaned out, volcanoes burn slowly and steadily, without any eruptions. Volcanic eruptions are like fires in a chimney.

  On our earth we are obviously much too small to clean out our volcanoes. That is why they bring no end of trouble upon us. 

  The little prince also pulled up, with a certain sense of dejection, the last little shoots of the baobabs. He believed that he would never want to return. But on this last morning all these familiar tasks seemed very precious to him. And when he watered the flower for the last time, and prepared to place her under the shelter of her glass globe, he realised that he was very close to tears.
  "Goodbye," he said to the flower. 
  But she made no answer. 
  "Goodbye," he said again.
  The flower coughed. But it was not because she had a cold. 
  "I have been silly," she said to him, at last. "I ask your forgiveness. Try to be happy..." 
  He was surprised by this absence of reproaches. He stood there all bewildered, the glass globe held arrested in mid-air. He did not understand this quiet sweetness. 
  "Of course I love you," the flower said to him. "It is my fault that you have not known it all the while. That is of no importance. But you-- you have been just as foolish as I. Try to be happy... let the glass globe be. I don‘t want it any more." 
  "But the wind--" 
  "My cold is not so bad as all that... the cool night air will do me good. I am a flower." 
  "But the animals--" 
  "Well, I must endure the presence of two or three caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies. It seems that they are very beautiful. And if not the butterflies-- and the caterpillars-- who will call upon me? You will be far away... as for the large animals-- I am not at all afraid of any of them. I have my claws." 
  And, na�ely, she showed her four thorns. Then she added: 
  "Don‘t linger like this. You have decided to go away. Now go!" 
  For she did not want him to see her crying. She was such a proud flower...

5/14/2009

Why Chinese don’t go Dutch?

A friend asks me "Why Chinese don't go Dutch?" So I want to regard
this question as the topic and write an article. As everyone knows,
Occidental will go Dutch while having a meal in the restaurant. But
Chinese don't go Dutch. Chinese will pay the bill and check out
generously. Occidental don't often entertain guests; but Chinese often
invite friend to dinner. A lot of Occidentals feel puzzled to this
question.
Why exists such a difference? Because of the East and West culture and
custom are different on the surface. I will analyze this question
concretely.
First of all, food systems between China and Occident are different.
Chinese put into practice Gather Dining System; Occidentals put into
practice Individual Dining System. Everybody can share the delicious
food of all over the table when eating Chinese food. Please note it is
sharing; but Occidentals just eat the food in one's own plate, if you
eat beef, he eats chicken. It is impossible that you taste the flavor
of his chicken. The result of the Individual Dining System is that you
can only eat the food in your plate. It is unable to share. Ha-ha!
What I said is right!
So to eat Chinese food is happier than to eat Western-style food. And
I want to ask you a question. Do you like the free thing? I think
nobody don't like the free thing. Ok! Suppose I invite you to eat the
delicious Chinese food, then I pay the bill. This is equivalent to
that you have enjoyed a delicious Chinese food free. So you will be
very glad. Have strengthened the relation between us in the happy
atmosphere.
Secondly, Occidentals eat for the health; Chinese eat for the
friendship. Occidental advocate individualism and independence is
strong. So Occidental express that respect for each other's
independence through the way go Dutch. Chinese like making friends and
solidarity. Chinese value the interpersonal relationships and
friendship very much. There are a lot of folk adages in China, for
example "Depend on parents at home, leave home and depend on the
friend!","Handle affairs is easy if you have many friends!", another
sentence is the more violent: "Insert the knife into both sides of the
rib for friend!!!".
Therefore, friend's position is important in Chinese's mind. The
purpose that Chinese don't go Dutch is doesn't want to destroy the
friendship between the friends. Dutch treatment is the stingy behavior
in China, is unfavorable to the friends' solidarity and is unfavorable
to keeping the harmonious interpersonal relationship.
Third, it is only simple "Have a meal!" that Occidental entertain
guests. It is not purpose that Chinese entertain guests, but it is the
means. In Americans' idea, "Have a meal" definition is to add fuel to
the body for keeping health and normal life activity. Thus resist the
attack of disease. That is to say, there is no any additional value.
In the Chinese idea, "Have a meal" not only is for maintaining the
health of the body, but also is a kind of life enjoyment, even is the
means to promote friendship between the friends. After enjoying the
sumptuous delicious food, you are glad, I am glad too, everybody is
glad. The friendship between the friends has been strengthened in this
kind of atmosphere.
Chinese are a nation liking treat very much. Generally speaking, one
party who propose treat will pay the bill in China. But purposes are
different. For example you help me to do a thing, I will invite you to
dinner in order to express thankfulness to you, certainly, I will pay
the bill. Suppose I am a company manager, you are another company
manager. I talk about the business with you, and I will say: "Let's
have a meal together!". Certainly, I will pay the bill. My purpose is
that congratulates business' success, promote the friendship between
us, even the friendship and cooperation between two companies.
In fact, Chinese are very complicated. So I say that Chinese don't go
Dutch is not merely a kind of folkway and custom, but it is a means, a
method, a repayment way, a way to express emotion, even is probably a
kind of stratagem …


FROM SINA

[英文信件]一封四百块钱的信

一封四百块钱的信

转自南桥的blog:http://family.mblogger.cn/berlinf/posts/148778.aspx

好多中国同胞说美国不比中国,除了买车、买房、买钢琴等大件外,讨价还价是没有用的。我发觉不是这么回事,有一些费用有所争议,是可以通过交涉,给降低的。我们在异国他乡生活,奉公守法,该我付的钱,我一分钱不会欠,一分钱不会少,但是莫名其妙的费用,多一分钱我也不给。我就有几个这样的事例。比如有回公寓退房后,房东寄给我1500多的账单,被我几次邮件来回,降到了300元不到。如果说文字有什么力量的话,就体现在那个时候了。

 

和房东交涉的时候,我甚至跟他讲到了英语语法。他说我damage,我说不能这么说,damage is an action verb, and I am not the doer of this action, 因为这和犯罪是一个道理,我得有动机、能力、环境,首先这动机我就没有,我干嘛要破坏我自己住的地方?因此这个damage应该是被动语态,It is  damaged due to time, use,  as well as the lack of repair, which is your responsibility,  因为动作执行者不是我(或者不说全是我),三年时间过去了,有自然损耗,有的是我找你来修你没来。所以责任方有三方:我自己、时间、物业。最后,在被动语态的帮助下,我砍掉了900 还有将近600我们争执不下,我想到了国际上处理争端水域的办法是“争议部分均分法”(equal division of disputed amount因此我提议用这个办法,均分这个费用,他居然同意了。结果,这1500多块的费用,被我砍到了三百块不到。

 

最近,由于利率调低,我准备重新贷款(refinance),找原来的银行,它给出了百分之四点几的利息,我都准备重新贷了,但是由于各样的沟通问题,后来才发觉这个重新贷款的手续费(settlement cost)太高,居然将近4000,与当初对方给我的估算出入很大。前后算起来,重新贷款意义不大,于是决定取消。但是如果是我这方面取消,我当初交的400块钱定金就被没收。负责此事的J先生说除非是银行方面未批准交易,否则如果是客户提出,定金不退。但是后来想到此事的前后经过,觉得不对劲,于是写了一封信给处理此案的另外一个人(Y),陈述了前因后果。看此信后,对方二话没说,以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势,将钱退回到我卡上了。我想登在这里,让遇到类似情况的其它朋友有所启发。我总的感觉是,自己的权利千万不要轻易放弃,但是也不要胡乱指责,因为你未必知道对方是什么情况,那么又何必拿收信的人当出气筒呢?以前说沟通话题的时候,老师告诉我们不要太aggressive (咄咄逼人) 也不要passive(任人欺负),更不要passive-agreesive(当面一套背后一套) 最可取之道是assertive(有一说一,有二说二)这是个长久的功课,一直得学,我希望我是按照assertive的原则来的,但也不知做到了多少,好在钱是给要回来了。

 

Dear Ms. Y,

Thank you so much for processing the loan 
(人家处理这个案子确实也花费了时间,应该感谢,虽然她的同事占主要责任), but I ended up having to give it up after a talk with Mr. J, in which he didn’t see a way to cut the settlement cost any further. (我一开始写I ended up giving up, 可是我发觉这样就是我个人的责任了,是我主动放弃,后来我改成了I ended up having to give up,‘我最终不得不放弃’,确实也不是我主动放弃,是不得不放弃。)

I am wondering if that 400-dollar initial deposit or other cost, if there is any that I may not know of, can be refunded or canceled.  (一开始我只写了400块,但是后来我怀疑还有什么别的潜在费用,以后再来磨岂不是耽误双方时间,所以叫它别的费用也一并取消)。


Even though I decided against refinancing, I am still a customer of your bank.  I have not taken my loan elsewhere.  (我虽然没有贷款,但是还是他们银行的客户,并没有找其它银行。我这里没说,但是他应该明白,如果真的把我得罪,我换个银行,其实还是他们损失大,当然我换的话成本也很高,这是双输的局面。)

More importantly, I didn’t give it up out of whim or simply for my own reasons.  There were problems in our communication which I regret to say were not my responsibility.  (我说我不是一时兴起,或是出于个人原因取消的,而是因为一些沟通问题,且不是我的责任。)

The main reason this refinancing cannot happen is because the cost has not been as transparent as it should have been.   I was told that it would cost around 2000 at a rate of 4.4.  When I received your emailed copy of the documentation, I found that I will have to pay for “discount rate”, which came totally as a surprise.  I made it very explicit in my initial contact that I do not want to buy points or discount.  I understand that the rate of 4.4 is the rate Mr. J offered to me, with no strings attached.  I decided to enter into this process with the understanding that I am getting this rate without the discount.   Unfortunately there was this cost that had not been disclosed to me.  

(这里我说他们一开始没有原原本本告诉我成本的构成,而只是给了个估算,2000左右,但是最后不知怎么变成了4000多,其中包括一个‘利息折扣’,这与我当初与他们的沟通不符。但是我怀疑银行就是通过这种暗藏的费用坑骗客户的。)

 

The title fees are too high too.  I understand that this is nothing you can control how much a title company charges, but there should be title companies that charge less.  Unfortunately such options were not offered to me.    I cannot just accept a refinancing deal if all the initial conditions have changed to add substantially to my cost. 
(
他们说这4000多元,包括title公司的的费用,我们这个州这方面费用很贵,不是他们能控制的,但是即便是这样,他也可以找几家供我选择,而不是随便找一家强加给我,这是他们自己的工作没有做到家。)


The entire process of refinancing has also been frustrating to me.  I am sure it is frustrating to you as well.    I wish things had not been this way.  
(到手的交易泡汤了,对他也是个损失,也得体谅。)But after our initial phone talk about the refinancing, I was told that I am going to receive a package detailing everything, but so far I have not received anything of this nature from your bank.   Mr. J said he sent it through DHL, but typically DHL would require you to sign it, and I have not received any bank mail that would require me to sign.    Mr. J said they might not require signature, but still I have not received any package or mail at all from your bank.  Mr. J promised to check with the processing team about this because they would have tracking number for the package, but I haven’t heard from anybody yet.  I really don’t know what have happened.   In any case, after the initial conversation on the phone, I tried to reach him several times via both email and phone messages, to get his fax number because I need that for my insurance agent, but I have not heard back from him.   Mr. J has been very helpful in our initial communication, but I don’t know why there is a communication issue later on. (这里确实是J先生的过错) I understand that people are busy, and these things do happen, or maybe my case has gone somewhere else in the pipeline, so I do not want to blame anyone in this process.  Nor would I know whom to blame, because I do not know how your process works(可是我发觉也不能的理不饶人,他们贷款处理的流程我也不懂,说不定是他负责一开始和客户沟通,准备材料是其他人,邮寄的又是别的人,既然不清楚,就不能把话说绝了,不是这个人的错,去责怪他是没道理的,而且会引起对方的恼恨。)  However it is really not my favorite thing to be taken by surprise between the initial communication and then the paperwork, which substantially escalate the cost that has made it not desirable to refinance.   It does not seem fair to me to be bearing the cost myself considering the problems as described above, problems that I didn't cause. (但是不管是他们流程中谁的错,让我承担后果是不对的。)

I will appreciate it if you can refund the deposit to me, or please forward my mail to one who could if you do not handle such issues. 
(我这信是发给最后一个和我联系的Y小姐,结果她果然爽快给我转给了其他人。)

Thank you so much,
Nan Qiao

5/13/2009

48 Tips to a Happy Marriage

I came across a list titled: "48 Tips to a Happy Marriage". I thought
that they are worth mentioning and maybe exploring. I wonder how much
of these are followed by couples in our society and do they find them
relevant and applicable?

Since I am still single; I will comment about each one from my own
perspective and state what I think about it; by that; I am not
dictating or promoting anything, I am just thinking in the form of
writing.

The list goes as follows; if you become bored while going through
them, stop and come back later because I found them very interesting
and I am hoping you will do too:

1. Start each day with a kiss ~ I think this one is not that hard; on
the contrary; it can be healthy and nice.

2. Wear your wedding ring at all times ~ most couples do wear the
ring, however; their reasons might vary, so as long as they think of
it as a sign of their commitment to their spouses, then they are on
the safe side.

3. Date once a week ~ I believe this one is very healthy; maybe not as
often as once a week, let's say every other week or that a date can be
inside your home and that you don't have to go somewhere fancy to have
it, you get the idea, right?

4. Accept differences ~ No one is perfect. However; healthy arguments
are good for the relationship, hence; the most important thing would
be learning how to compromise with one another.

5. Be polite ~ Please, thank you, you are welcome… these are not only
meant for strangers; your own spouse and family should come first and
you must always use these phrases inside your home.

6. Be gentle ~ a person is supposed to be the closest to his/her
spouse, being gentle is crucial to keep them close enough or they will
find that comfort elsewhere.

7. Give gifts ~ nice small gifts are appreciated every once in a while

8. Smile often ~ I would say: Smile Always because it is contagious
and you are more likely to be smiled at when you show your teeth more
often!!

9. Touch ~ intimacy between married people is very important and
touching is a means of communication that reflects closeness,
connection and love; it is your way of keeping the spark alive.

10. Talk about dreams ~ dreams of the future that is; if you don't
share your dreams with your spouse; then who?

11. Select a song that can be "our song" ~ this sounds like a cliché,
but it can be nice, don't you think?

12. Give back rubs ~ this means: be comforting both mentally and
physically and if you don't know how to give back rubs and massages;
it is time to learn!

13. Laugh together ~ laughter is like smiling and as they say: it is
medicine. When you share good laughs together; the fun grows in the
relationship and you grow closer and stronger every day.

14. Send a card for no reason ~ another cliché? Maybe, but everyone
likes to receive a nice "I love you" or "I miss you" notes every once
in a while; it does boost one's ego, doesn't it?

15. Do what the other person wants before he or she asks ~ of course;
you need to know your spouse so well to be able to do this one. I
guess this comes with time as you grow to know each other but seek to
get that knowledge; don't assume that it will come to you!

16. Listen ~ this could be the most important one ever, but note that
you should listen with empathy and not just hear what they are saying;
you should get involved.

17. Encourage ~ positive support and being there for one another is
also very important; seek their support and give them yours and be
generous!

18. Do it his or her way ~ sometimes; you need to do things their way
just to show how much you love them and respect their feelings.

19. Know his or her needs ~ what good is a spouse if he/she does not
know the needs of their significant others? This should be your
primary concern!

20. Compliment twice a day ~ everyone likes to hear something nice as
a compliment; so give them that when it is due. It should not be
literally twice but don't be extreme by not giving at all or giving
too much; just say something nice when you can.

21. Fix the other person's breakfast ~ it doesn't have to be breakfast
in bed though!

22. Call during the day ~ but don't over do it and be obsessed with
calling him/her. Give them their space but also show them that you
think of them by a 2-minutes phone call saying "how are you doing?"

23. Slow down ~ and don't jump to conclusions; always give the benefit
of the doubt and wait to hear them out.

24. Cuddle ~ yes; intimacy is very important and reflects love and
deep feelings.

25. Ask for each others' opinion ~ absolutely; whose opinion would you
seek if not your spouse's? Your decisions will reflect both your lives
and not only your own, so their opinion is important for you to make
the right move.

26. Show respect ~ all the time; whether you are alone or among
others. Showing respect is more important than showing love.

27. Welcome the other person home ~ show enthusiasm when they come
home and greet them; this means that you are happy because they are
home now and that you were waiting for them!

28. Look your best ~ I understand that this is not easy to implement
since we face different situations all day long, however; it does
count that you make the effort to look your best every once in a while
just for their sake and not only because you are going out or
expecting guests, get the point?

29. Wink at each other ~ another cliché? Probably, but it can be any
other gesture like smiling their way across the room or dining table,
or holding their hand for a minute, just anything that appeals to both
of you.

30. Celebrate birthdays in a big way ~ this does not mean a big party;
just show them you care about their personal occasions.

31. Apologize ~ and don't be too stubborn to admit that you made a
mistake, because apologizing can clear things between you and allows
you to move on from the conflict in a healthy manner.

32. Forgive ~ from the heart and not only in words; forgive them and mean it.

33. Set up a romantic getaway ~ this sounds like fun every once in a
while; no harm in that!

34. Ask, "What can I do to make you happier?" ~ in other words;
communicate and keep it going, because one's needs might change along
the way, and what they used to like a couple of years ago might not be
appealing to them now; so make sure you ask them what does make them
happy and do it.

35. Be positive ~ even when it is a negative era of your lives; always
try to show the full half of the cup.

36. Be kind ~ and nice.

37. Be vulnerable ~ let those guards down and show your true colors.

38. Respond quickly to the other person's request ~ show them that you
are doing this because you care for them the most.

39. Talk about your love ~ again; communicate. Always tell them as
well as show them how much you love them and how happy you are because
of having them in your lives.

40. Treat each others' friends and relatives with courtesy ~ even if
you don't like their family and/or friends, you treat them with
respect and courtesy for the sake of your spouse; they deserve that
much.

41. Send flowers every Valentine's Day and anniversary ~ or just for
the sake of it; flowers can say a lot on your behalf.

42. Admit when wrong ~ don't be too arrogant to say it.

43. Be sensitive to each other's sexual desires ~ more importantly;
understand these desires and keep the communication going.

44. Pray for each other daily ~ and do it from the heart.

45. Watch sunsets together ~ just share such moments together; it does
not have to be sunset; it can be anything else.

46. Say "I love you" frequently ~ don't assume that they know you love
them; everyone likes to hear it, so say it!

47. End the day with a hug ~ show closeness and again; intimacy.

48. Seek outside help when needed ~ if you reach a point when you feel
that you cannot solve the problem alone; seek the help of someone you
both trust before giving up, or go for professional help as a last
resort. Never feel ashamed of that; seeking help is a lot better than
giving up and doing your very best to solve your issues. You owe it to
yourself and to them to do that.

FROM youth of China

5/12/2009

Taiwan travel

Taipei boasts a wide variety of scrumptious, regional Chinese cuisines
and a few down-home specialties, all of which stem from the island's
history.

Take one part local food tradition, which shares much with
southeastern Chinese fare and favors fresh seafood, especially
oysters. Add a strong dash of Japanese flavor (like wasabi), culled
from 50 years of Japanese colonization that ended in 1945. Then mix in
some of China's finest cooking traditions from Chongqing to Shenyang
(think Sichuan-style gong bao ji ding -- kungpao chicken -- and
northern China-style beef noodle soup) brought here by the
Mandarin-speaking Kuomintang elite when they fled the mainland, along
with their cooks, in the late 1940s. The result: contemporary
Taiwanese food.

For a city with a reputation among some foodies for having some of the
world's best Chinese food, an eating tour of Taipei is highly
appropriate. But it's not for the faint of heart, or small of stomach.

In fact, were you to actually consume all the food and drink on this
itinerary, you'd feel more like a nap than a walk. Consider yourself
warned: Nibble at the suggested stops, don't fill up. And pick and
choose dishes according to your taste, appetite and endurance.

9 A.M. DOUJIANG AND YOUTIAO
For breakfast, start your stroll at the Taipei Fullerton, a boutique
hotel on Fuxing South Road. From the hotel, turn left and cross Fuxing
South Road. Soon, you'll hit a small strip of doujiang (soy milk)
restaurants.

Head for the first one on the corner: Yonghe Doujiang Da Wang (Yonghe
Soy Milk Emperor) at No. 102, next to a fire station. It takes its
name from the suburb, Yonghe, where the original restaurant was
located. Today, Yonghe-style breakfast joints are famous across the
Chinese-speaking world.

The quintessential Yonghe-style breakfast is doujiang and youtiao --
soy milk and fried bread sticks. The soy milk comes cold or hot,
spooned up from big vats near the entrance. If you want a more
substantial breakfast, add the turnip cake with soy-based sauce (luo
buo gao), a pancake-and-egg combo (shao bing jia dan), and crisp cakes
(su bing), lightly baked, hollow thin cakes with sugar, sesame or
peanut paste spread on the inside. You should be able to walk away
with a full stomach for well under US$3.

10 A.M. AN DONG MARKET
From the breakfast place, turn right and continue south down Fuxing
South Road. Take a right on Lane 148, Fuxing South Road (Taipei's side
lanes are named after the roads they branch off).

Check out the betel-nut stand near the corner, and try some if you
dare. This mild intoxicant is a favorite in Taiwan, India and some
parts of Southeast Asia (but not mainland China). Working-class types
here swear by the stuff, and you can tell a betel-nut fan by the
telltale red stains around the mouth.

Across Taiwan, especially outside major cities, 'betel nut beauties'
-- 20-something females in microscopic outfits -- attempt to lure
buyers to their roadside stands. But in Taipei, you're more likely to
find a cranky middle-aged man or smiling granny selling the nuts. If
you try it, bite or clip off the rind of the nut, then chew it like
gum -- don't swallow it and be sure to spit out the juice, otherwise
you're likely to get sick to your stomach. A small bag of nuts costs
$1.50.

Continue walking down Lane 148 until you reach the An Dong market on
your left, at No. 75 Rui An St. Here's your chance to check out a
traditional Taiwanese market. Many are losing business to
supermarkets, but they aren't extinct yet. Check out the butcher and
the fruit stands. You'll also find shops selling 'ghost money,' paper
that's burned for good fortune and to appease the gods or wandering
spirits.

Leave the market and cut across Rui An Street to Lane 180, Rui An
Street. There's an old-fashioned tea shop called Lao Ji Zi on your
right, at No. 5 Lane 180. This is run by the Tseng family, who own tea
fields in Taiwan and on the mainland.

Big metal canisters store their crop: oolong tea picked from Alishan,
gaoshan (high mountain) tea from Nantou County, and some much-prized
puer tea, picked from trees in China's Yunnan province. The half-jin
(500-gram) tins of tea make great gifts; a basic oolong costs $9, a
tin of the gaoshan variety costs about $60. Say hello to Mrs. Tseng,
who runs the shop while her husband tends to the fields in central
Taiwan.

12 P.M. DA AN PARK
Lunch time. As you leave the tea shop, turn right and continue west on
Lane 180, Rui An Street, which turns into Lane 151, Jianguo South
Road.

The restaurant at No. 53 Lane 151 on your right is Mei Xiang La Mian
Wu (open 12 p.m. to 2 p.m. for lunch, and 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. for
dinner). Order the 'clerk's pulled noodles' (xiao er lao mian in
Mandarin), a light Chinese-style lunch. You'll get a pile of noodles
with a generous dollop of minced beef in sauce, garnished with
scallions and cilantro. Mix up the noodles and sauce before eating,
then slurp away. This northern Chinese dish was popularized here by
mainlanders who came in the late 1940s. A big bowl will cost you
$2.20; a small bowl, $1.75.

After lunch, take a long walk through Da An Park. This 26-hectare
patch of green is Taipei's answer to New York City's Central Park. On
weekends, it's packed with rollerblading kids, dog-crazy Taipei
urbanites walking their canines and bicyclists.

You'll enter on the east side of the park across from a public
library. Make your way through to the southwest corner of the park --
you can take the shaded jogging path on your left, which runs along
the edge of the entire park. The exit is across from a Sizzler steak
house.

From the park exit, cross Xinsheng South Road, take a left and follow
the road south. You'll come to the Wistaria Tea House (No. 1, Lane
16). This famous Taipei teahouse has recently re-opened after a long
renovation.

Back in the days of martial law (1949 to 1987), democracy activists
gathered here over pots of oolong tea to strategize. Now, it's an
obligatory stop for local tea-lovers. The shop boasts a wide variety
of Taiwan- and mainland-grown teas, served in a cozy, Japanese
colonial-era setting, with low tables, tatami mats and partitions, as
well as a no-shoe policy in some rooms.

Try the Bai Hao or 'Oriental Beauty' oolong ($9) -- grown with the
help of katydid (an insect related to a grasshopper) saliva. (The tea
tastes better than it sounds.) Or have a sip of some Dong Ding oolong
($8) grown in central Taiwan. Show-offs can shell out $90 for the
'Dragon and Horse Tong Qing Puer,' a 1920s-vintage puer tea.

2:30 P.M. XIAO CHI STANDS
Heading west -- take a right as you exit Wistaria -- you'll hit two of
this area's most popular xiao chi stands, or street-food stalls. Both
usually have long lines, so bring a friend, a book or a lot of
patience. (If you don't want to taste these foods here, there are
clean, well-lighted restaurants later on in the walk.)

First, try the turnip cake at the stand at the corner of Heping East
Road and Wenzhou Street (closed Sundays). One cake costs 75 U.S.
cents. Taipei foodies swear by this stuff, and are willing to wait in
nerve-straining lines to get their fix.

Next, order the pan-fried dumplings in the Shida Night Market -- it's
called a night market, but food is served from the early afternoon
through to the wee hours of the morning. Weave your way over to
Longquan Street, and look for Xu Ji Sheng Jian Bao at No. 24, a food
stall famous for this kind of dumpling. You can try just one for 20
cents, but most people buy five for 90 cents.

Exit the Shida market and backtrack your way north on Longquan Street
-- you'll hit Yongkang Street after a leisurely 20-minute walk. This
street boasts typical Taiwanese xiao chi, but in nicer surroundings
than a typical night market.

Hao Ji Mei Shi Zhuan Mai Dian, on the west side of the street (No. 1,
Lane 10), serves southern Taiwanese xiao chi -- local favorites
include tu tuo yu gen, a hearty soup with chewy, breaded lumps of
fish, and crispy oysters with pepper (in the local Taiwanese dialect,
Minnan, this dish is called oasu; in Mandarin, it's ke zi su). A small
bowl of the soup costs $1.50 and a small dish of oasu runs $3.

Heading north on the same side of Yongkang Street, you'll hit the
restaurant Yongkang Kou (No. 1, Lane 6). Here, if you dare, sample two
of Taiwan's most famous dishes, stinky tofu or chou doufu ($1.30) for
a small serving), which lives up to its name, and oysters in a broth
with vermicelli-like noodles (oamisua in Taiwanese, $1.15 for a small
bowl; $1.60 for a large one).

Now, cross to the other side of Yongkang Street, turn left (north),
and look for Tu Hsiao Yueh (No. 9-1 Yongkang St.).

Here you can sample southern Taiwanese-style minced pork noodles
(danzi mian), either dry or in soup. A small serving costs $1.50. Wash
down your noodles with the island's standby brew, Taiwan Beer ('Taiwan
pijiu' or 'Taipi' for short); one bottle costs $2.65.

5 P.M. DIN TAI FUNG
No culinary tour in Taipei would be complete without a stop at the
restaurant Din Tai Fung for a taste of its Shanghai-style pork-soup
dumplings (xiao long bao), served with sliced ginger and soy sauce.

Guidebooks swear by them; food snobs say they're overrated. Decide for
yourself. One serving costs $5.30 and includes 10 dumplings.

To get there, continue north on Yongkang Street from the stinky-tofu
joint, then hang a right on Xinyi Road. Just a few doors down is the
original location of this now-famous chain restaurant (No. 194 Xinyi
Rd., Section 2). Be warned, though: Hordes of tourist groups mob this
place at peak mealtimes, so be prepared for a wait. Of course, you may
need time to digest the other snacks you've just had.

6 P.M. NATIONAL CHIANG KAI-SHEK MEMORIAL HALL
Finish your tour with a brisk 15-minute walk west down Xinyi Road to
the National Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall. This monument to the dead
autocrat (he ruled Taiwan from 1949 to his death in 1975), which
opened in 1980 in a sprawling 25-hectare plaza, includes a grand
concert hall at the other end of the square. It's best viewed at
night, when it's illuminated by ground lights, and groups of
middle-aged Taiwanese come to line dance to U.S. country-and-western
songs on the plaza.

After a good rest and a break from eating, try Taiwan's famous pearl,
or 'bubble' milk tea -- a shaved ice-and-tea confection served with
tapioca balls and jumbo-size straws. The place to get it is Chun Shui
Tang, the central-Taiwan store that invented it in late 1980s, and
there's a branch in the ground floor of the National Concert Hall on
the north side of the memorial plaza (the shop closes at 8:30 p.m.). A
small glass costs $2.20; a large glass that's big enough for two costs
$4.40.

6:50 P.M. KINMEN KAOLIANG LIQUOR
If you can make it in time, run by the Kinmen Kaoliang Liquor store, a
short walk from the Memorial Hall plaza's southwest corner (No. 3,
Roosevelt Rd., Section 1; open to 7 p.m. weekdays and Saturdays).

Sample the shop's famous Taiwanese sorghum liquor -- a fiery
concoction brewed on Kinmen (also known as Quemoy, a small island in
the Taiwan Strait controlled by Taiwan) -- and take a gift bottle with
you. There's a variety of sizes and strengths -- choose between 28-,
30-, 38- and 58-proof. You can taste a few for free before you decide,
but most people opt for the high-test 58-proof variety ($15.60 for a
750-milliliter bottle).

Assuming you can still fit in a taxi, hop in one here to return to your hotel.

FROM wall street daily

5/11/2009

Swimming Head

        Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool 
   
  The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom. 
   
  Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool,so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him. 
   
  He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering. 
   
  Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: "Three years I've spent learning to swim with my fucking ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!"